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The first few months

As I mentioned before, it is difficult to rejoice when you are accustomed to the trials and tribulations of infertility. However, with each ultrasound done, and looking at the fetus growing with a good heartbeat, I am feeling the idea slowly sink in. Along with it are the common symptoms of nausea and going to the bathroom what feels like, after every couple of minutes. I am grateful for the symptoms, however uncomfortable they may seem, because the symptoms mean everything is going as it is supposed to.

I am at the end of my 11th week now. It felt unbelievable when I went to the OB appointment at 8 weeks because I really didn't think that day would eventually come. It was something way down the road, clouded in uncertainty. Only the lucky ones get to go there, I felt. When my time came and I was handed the brochure, it was like a dream. Even now, when I am telling people that I am coming close to the end of my first trimester, it again feels incredible. Like really? End of the first trimester? Is that even possible? 

As this is an IVF procedure, we could find out the gender of the fetus even before the transfer. We chose not to know at that time, because I did not want to mentally connect to the embryo that much when the future was so uncertain. However, on the last visit at the IVF clinic, we asked them to tell us. They made a big deal of it, with cards and ultrasound pictures laminated with heart stickers and all! Inside the card was the sticker of a pink elephant! 

Now, a big change has come. Once the gender is known, the whole perspective changes. Then it becomes a "baby". Even though I am totally against the pink and blue concepts, but I am still thinking of what to paint the nursery walls with (it will not be pink, neither purple). My regular life girl role models being Jo March and Scout Finch, and everyone else being women in the STEM field, I have elaborate ideas to fill the walls with. But they may not be very nursery appropriate :)

The next step is to start looking for maternity clothes. Another step that I never believed would really come in my life, but I am not fitting in my regular pants anymore!

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