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Telling people about IVF

To tell or not to tell, that is the question. Every couple is different, all our journeys are unique, and even within each couple, the people are unique individuals. When anything happens to me, it feels like entire Seattle and the major part of India already knows about it. Some parts of Europe does too. However, about the IVF thing, I was wondering should I tell people or not. Then I decided to go for it. True, it is because of the fact I told people, that I heard the random comments that I could have done without. But as I have the courage to face people and correct them, I feel good to tell people. There is a practical part too.

At work, we sometimes need to take turns to work on the weekends, or take care of software releases. If I do not let them know why I cannot be part of the schedule it would be wrong. On the other hand if I do take part in that, it might just over stress me, or at times be just impossible. Like, I could possibly not be the on call engineer on the day of my egg retrieval. Keeping secrets or lying are not my strong points anyway.

The second thing is something I found out during my miscarriage. People suffer through reproductive issues in silence. When I told people about my miscarriage, I found out how many of them faced it. Same about IVF. Once I mentioned it, over just the last week, I heard two people mention that they themselves went through it. One of them specifically told me that she is available if I just need someone to talk to. That wouldn't have happened if I didn't tell her.

Yesterday at work, we had to come up with our plans for 2018. It is impossible for me to plan for the coming year without keeping in mind the IVF cycles. So when I had to put together my story board I covered half of it with family pictures and ideas. One coworker was surprised at the percentage of family stuff, but I told him that having an IVF baby needs a LOT of mental investment. Hence, it is just natural that I am going to put a lot of effort for that in 2018.

My story board for 2018
Because of my story board, and my confident, unabashed presentation of it in front of the group, quite a few women wished me the best for the upcoming journey. I like having support around me.

Being very extroverted and quite feisty by nature, I can handle the queries, weird looks, strange questions, and general discouragement that comes along with the support and positive comments. If you feel, like my husband does, that this is a very personal journey and there is no need to tell everyone about it, that is fine too. Basically the thing is, this is your journey and your life. So be kind to yourself and never, never, feel pressurized to do anything or be anyone that doesn't make you feel comfortable.

PS: My manager reminded me that I am capable of amazing things, so I added that sticker :)

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