Skip to main content

Telling people about IVF

To tell or not to tell, that is the question. Every couple is different, all our journeys are unique, and even within each couple, the people are unique individuals. When anything happens to me, it feels like entire Seattle and the major part of India already knows about it. Some parts of Europe does too. However, about the IVF thing, I was wondering should I tell people or not. Then I decided to go for it. True, it is because of the fact I told people, that I heard the random comments that I could have done without. But as I have the courage to face people and correct them, I feel good to tell people. There is a practical part too.

At work, we sometimes need to take turns to work on the weekends, or take care of software releases. If I do not let them know why I cannot be part of the schedule it would be wrong. On the other hand if I do take part in that, it might just over stress me, or at times be just impossible. Like, I could possibly not be the on call engineer on the day of my egg retrieval. Keeping secrets or lying are not my strong points anyway.

The second thing is something I found out during my miscarriage. People suffer through reproductive issues in silence. When I told people about my miscarriage, I found out how many of them faced it. Same about IVF. Once I mentioned it, over just the last week, I heard two people mention that they themselves went through it. One of them specifically told me that she is available if I just need someone to talk to. That wouldn't have happened if I didn't tell her.

Yesterday at work, we had to come up with our plans for 2018. It is impossible for me to plan for the coming year without keeping in mind the IVF cycles. So when I had to put together my story board I covered half of it with family pictures and ideas. One coworker was surprised at the percentage of family stuff, but I told him that having an IVF baby needs a LOT of mental investment. Hence, it is just natural that I am going to put a lot of effort for that in 2018.

My story board for 2018
Because of my story board, and my confident, unabashed presentation of it in front of the group, quite a few women wished me the best for the upcoming journey. I like having support around me.

Being very extroverted and quite feisty by nature, I can handle the queries, weird looks, strange questions, and general discouragement that comes along with the support and positive comments. If you feel, like my husband does, that this is a very personal journey and there is no need to tell everyone about it, that is fine too. Basically the thing is, this is your journey and your life. So be kind to yourself and never, never, feel pressurized to do anything or be anyone that doesn't make you feel comfortable.

PS: My manager reminded me that I am capable of amazing things, so I added that sticker :)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My life is not governed by IVF

Yes, IVF is a big deal demanding a lot of physical and mental strength, and also significant chunks of finances, but I refuse to make it the central part of my (and Arnab's) life. There are lots of other stuff happening to us and they are good things. I should be enjoying those, which I am happy to report, that I am. For the first part, Arnab got a new job and we decided to buy a new house. This is our second house, we moved and are settling in now. For me, deciding on paint and organizing the house is a big deal. I am doing that with full vigor. Choosing furniture, window treatments, and all the normal stuff a couple with a new house need to do, we are doing those. We got a new cat too. This happened after our beloved May passed away. I promised May that we would keep her legacy alive by providing forever homes to many more cats during our lifetime. Gemini, or now renamed, Alpha Gemini, is the soft furball who we found sleeping in a small cubby at the Seattle Humane Soci...
Post a Comment
Read more

Preparing for the embryo transfer

Now we are approaching the most physically painful part of the process - the progesterone shots. On March 3, I went through a baseline check ultrasound to see how thick the uterine lining was. At this time, as I was on Nuvaring, my lining measured 4 mm which is pretty thin. From March 7, my Delestrogen shots started. They are basically the hormone estrogen that thickens our uterine lining in preparation for a cozy spot for the embryo to snuggle up to. For an embryo transfer, they expect the lining to be around 8-13 mm thick. The way to do that is by the estrogen shots. These intramuscular shots go in the butt and if you were one of those people who was taking the subcutaneous ones by yourself, now you would need someone to give you these ones. These are water soluble injections, so they are not that heavy. Also, I had to give them twice a week.  On March 23, I had another ultrasound to check how my uterine lining has thickened up. In the mean time, I ate normal healthy food...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Forgotten Hero

I don't know where to start this article from, because every time I think about this issue I get very angry at the unfair treatment that this doctor, rather scientist received. Dr. Subhash Mukhopadhyay has been the father of IVF in India, delivering a "test tube" baby 67 days after Louise Brown was born in Manchester, UK.  Somewhere around the late 90s, I first came to know of 'Durga', this girl conceived through IVF and a result of a successful experiment by Dr. Mukhopadhyay. I don't remember why this news was reported in the 90s, or in what context, but I remember my family discussing this at the breakfast table. They were upset that the recognition came after so many years and they were also angry at the Government and also at the family for not having the guts to come speak the truth. Especially at it caused the death of the scientist.  Fast forward many more years, I got in the IVF world after being diagnosed with PCOS and my husband having some...
Post a Comment
Read more