Skip to main content

1st Failure

I wish I could have had a different title, something like good news at the end of the wait, or anything positive for that matter, but my beta HCG test was done today and there was no pregnancy. My good quality BB embryo had failed to attach. I was thinking before that the embryo had only one job, and this was a 95% viable embryo... anyway nothing can be done about it right now other than preparing for the next cycle.

There's a lot going through my head now - what if the second one also fails? What can be our next options? Should we worry about ovarian reserve? Consider embryo adoption? My husband reminded me that this is a process and we must deal with a little detachment if possible.

I am trying to stay positive for the next cycle and telling myself that this is just a part of myself. My entire existence is not guided by my uterus!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Telling people about IVF

To tell or not to tell, that is the question. Every couple is different, all our journeys are unique, and even within each couple, the people are unique individuals. When anything happens to me, it feels like entire Seattle and the major part of India already knows about it. Some parts of Europe does too. However, about the IVF thing, I was wondering should I tell people or not. Then I decided to go for it. True, it is because of the fact I told people, that I heard the random comments that I could have done without. But as I have the courage to face people and correct them, I feel good to tell people. There is a practical part too. At work, we sometimes need to take turns to work on the weekends, or take care of software releases. If I do not let them know why I cannot be part of the schedule it would be wrong. On the other hand if I do take part in that, it might just over stress me, or at times be just impossible. Like, I could possibly not be the on call engineer on the day o...
Post a Comment
Read more

Second Trimester

I am officially past the mid point of the journey because I am in my 22nd week now. As each of the weeks get ticked off the calendar, it feels strange. Everything feels strange, including the wave like movements in my belly which are actually well timed kicks and punches. I used to think these things happen to "other people", but now they are really happening to me. I was not keen on having a baby registry or a baby shower, as those concepts are very alien to me. In India, a baby registry would mean you are asking for gifts and that you are not grateful for whatever gifts your friends/family bring. Baby shower in India is actually a celebration for the mom, not the baby, because you are not supposed to count your chickens...etc. But the baby is American, so things are going according to her plans I guess. We found out the practicality of having a baby registry where you get discounts from Target or Amazon and my friends here explained that people WILL give you something an...
Post a Comment
Read more

I stand with science

Some days are difficult. However much if an optimist you may be, it is difficult to stay happy, or rather, stay sane all the time. The earlier you accept it the better. The medicines are making me upset, just the fact that I have to take so many medicines is not a good feeling either. And the rest of the world doesn't care. However understanding your spouse/partner may be, they are not actually  going through  the process, so they won't get it either. The shots haven't started yet though. Work continues with all its follies, people around you are insensitive, because they know no better. Also, with all the medicines, you are slowly getting more sensitive to the people around you and what they are saying. Some people choose this time to talk in detail about their new babies, the baby troubles rather and explaining in depth their experiences with the birth process. I understand they are so happy that they want to share, but it may not occur to them that firstly, this is...
Post a Comment
Read more