Hacking Nature - my IVF blog

I don't know where to start this article from, because every time I think about this issue I get very angry at the unfair treatment that this doctor, rather scientist received. Dr. Subhash Mukhopadhyay has been the father of IVF in India, delivering a "test tube" baby 67 days after Louise Brown was born in Manchester, UK.  Somewhere around the late 90s, I first came to know of 'Durga', this girl conceived through IVF and a result of a successful experiment by Dr. Mukhopadhyay. I don't remember why this news was reported in the 90s, or in what context, but I remember my family discussing this at the breakfast table. They were upset that the recognition came after so many years and they were also angry at the Government and also at the family for not having the guts to come speak the truth. Especially at it caused the death of the scientist.  Fast forward many more years, I got in the IVF world after being diagnosed with PCOS and my husband having some...

As I mentioned before, it is difficult to rejoice when you are accustomed to the trials and tribulations of infertility. However, with each ultrasound done, and looking at the fetus growing with a good heartbeat, I am feeling the idea slowly sink in. Along with it are the common symptoms of nausea and going to the bathroom what feels like, after every couple of minutes. I am grateful for the symptoms, however uncomfortable they may seem, because the symptoms mean everything is going as it is supposed to. I am at the end of my 11th week now. It felt unbelievable when I went to the OB appointment at 8 weeks because I really didn't think that day would eventually come. It was something way down the road, clouded in uncertainty. Only the lucky ones get to go there, I felt. When my time came and I was handed the brochure, it was like a dream. Even now, when I am telling people that I am coming close to the end of my first trimester, it again feels incredible. Like really? End of t...

Frozen Embryo Transfer take 2. After the ERA test results came, we decided to go ahead with round two of an FET with the second (and only) remaining embryo I had. This is a CB embryo (compared to the last one which was BB), so I was a little concerned, but everyone at the clinic told me not to worry about the grading of the embryos.  With my RE Dr. Rehman in the recovery room after the transfer Anyway, so with the second cycle, I decided to go under anesthesia because there was a lot of poking and prodding going on, including two water ultrasound tests I went through. I know the embryo transfer is a very non-invasive process, but I hate the feeling of the speculum inside me. I need to stop being too hard on myself, I thought. On Saturday, September 15, I had the embryo transfer in the afternoon. The day before, I was at work till a little after 5. In a software company, the entire office is almost gone by 4 on Fridays, so I was practically alone on my side of the flo...

Yes, IVF is a big deal demanding a lot of physical and mental strength, and also significant chunks of finances, but I refuse to make it the central part of my (and Arnab's) life. There are lots of other stuff happening to us and they are good things. I should be enjoying those, which I am happy to report, that I am. For the first part, Arnab got a new job and we decided to buy a new house. This is our second house, we moved and are settling in now. For me, deciding on paint and organizing the house is a big deal. I am doing that with full vigor. Choosing furniture, window treatments, and all the normal stuff a couple with a new house need to do, we are doing those. We got a new cat too. This happened after our beloved May passed away. I promised May that we would keep her legacy alive by providing forever homes to many more cats during our lifetime. Gemini, or now renamed, Alpha Gemini, is the soft furball who we found sleeping in a small cubby at the Seattle Humane Soci...

Endometrial Receptivity Analysis (ERA) is a test that measures whether the uterus is ready to accept the embryo, leading to further implantation. There is an implantation window during which time, if the embryo comes, it gets implanted. However, as a student of statistics, I am not surprised to know that there is a bell curve, with 84% women falling in the +5 days region. The rest 16% have their own window of implantation. I am not a person who really fits in the box, I knew that already. So it is a surprise that I don't fall under the 84%? I need two more days of progesterone, because my implantation window is shifted by 2 days. As for my last transfer, the embryo was sent on day 5, my uterus was not ready to take it. Hence, it was rejected. Generally, if the embryos are healthy and the uterus and uterine lining don't have any problem, but still the embryo fails to implant, this test is done. It is a pretty new test, so this isn't yet done for everyone. But who knows...

I wish I could have had a different title, something like good news at the end of the wait, or anything positive for that matter, but my beta HCG test was done today and there was no pregnancy. My good quality BB embryo had failed to attach. I was thinking before that the embryo had only one job, and this was a 95% viable embryo... anyway nothing can be done about it right now other than preparing for the next cycle. There's a lot going through my head now - what if the second one also fails? What can be our next options? Should we worry about ovarian reserve? Consider embryo adoption? My husband reminded me that this is a process and we must deal with a little detachment if possible. I am trying to stay positive for the next cycle and telling myself that this is just a part of myself. My entire existence is not guided by my uterus!